January 6 Commemorative - THE LAWLESS AND THE CAPITOL - Marcus Bales & Don Caron

Lyrics by Marcus Bales | Music by Don Caron | First published Jan 13, 2021 Executive Producers Don Caron and Jerry Pender To help keep Parody Project alive and functioning, please visit https://parodyproject.com/supportus Parody Project Store: https://parodyproject.com/shop To become a Patron of Parody Project please visit our Patreon Page https://www.patreon.com/parodyproject You can sign up to our mailing list on our website so you don't miss any of our new posts. https://parodyproject.com/subscribe/ Lyrics to THE LAWLESS AND THE CAPITOL by Marcus Bales Inspired by The Walrus and the Carpenter by Lewis Carroll In his coat and gloves the Lawless spoke      To wind them up that day, To try to get his Coup Cucks Clan      To do what he can’t say: It would be so grand if you would clear      Democracy away. “O, Loyalists, come and walk with me,      Our long march has begun, The Capitol’s just over there,      Where voting-counting’s done. Let’s do our own – I’m right behind      You – ‘til and if you’ve won.” In wild surmise they looked around      Evincing some distress “Where’s Pennsylvania Avenue?”      They asked, while shouting “Yes!” “You’re on it.” “Oh!” And off they went,      Dull whites in silly dress. They got up to the Capitol        Where barricades were bright, Some cops invited them right through      Around the building’s site. And this was scarcely odd because      The Polizei were white. Twiddly Drumpf and Trumpty Tweet For freedom you must fight. “Oh, would you like to riot here,      And pillage, steal, and loot? Well, there’s the windows, here’s the door,      We promise not to shoot Except for once, to make it seem      Like we put in the boot” Twiddly Drumpf and Trumpty Tweet It’s time to execute. They stole the Speaker’s podium      And postured on the Floor Threw shit about and killed a cop        From two right on past four, Then waved to cameras as they went      Back out the open door. The riot squads by five arrived      And made some noise at them, And said they all had got to go      At least by six p.m. – And someone cried “Don’t shoot! You know      We’re not the BLM!” “The time has come,” The Lawless said      “To talk of many things, Of sinking ships and fleeing rats      And Russian blackmail rings, And whether certain Presidents can do self-pardonings       Twiddly drumpf and Trumpty tweet “Can do self-pardonings.” He told them that he loved them, then      He kindly sent them home, And told them they were special, there,      Beneath the Stately Dome. Then he said they’d be arrested        Wherever they might roam. So on his watch Republicans      Are in a parlous state – They’ve lost the Senate, House, and White        House, lost the whole debate – So after all we must admit      He made America great. A Parody of The Walrus and the Carpenter - Lewis Carroll "The Walrus and the Carpenter" is a narrative poem by Lewis Carroll that appeared in his book Through the Looking-Glass, published in December 1871. The poem is recited in chapter 4, by Tweedledum and Tweedledee to Alice. The rhyming and rhythmical scheme used, as well as some archaisms and syntactical turns, are those of the traditional English ballad. The Walrus and the Carpenter are the eponymous characters in the poem. Walking upon a beach one night when both sun and moon are visible, the Walrus and Carpenter come upon an offshore bed of oysters. Groups of four are called up; the exact number is unknown. To the disapproval of the eldest oyster, many more follow them. After walking along the beach (a point is made of the fact that the oysters are all neatly shod despite having no feet), they rest on a low rock. After bringing bread, pepper, and vinegar the Walrus and the Carpenter are revealed to be predatory and eat all of the oysters. The Walrus expresses some compunction towards the oysters but eats them anyway, while the Carpenter dispassionately asks for more bread and complains that the butter is spread too thickly. After hearing the poem, the good-natured Alice attempts to determine which of the two leading characters might be the more sympathetic, but is thwarted by the twins' further interpretation: "I like the Walrus best," said Alice: "because you see he was a little sorry for the poor oysters." "He ate more than the Carpenter, though," said Tweedledee. "You see he held his handkerchief in front, so that the Carpenter couldn't count how many he took: contrariwise." "That was mean!" Alice said indignantly. "Then I like the Carpenter best—if he didn't eat so many as the Walrus." "But he ate as many as he could get," said Tweedledum. This was a puzzler. After a pause, Alice began, "Well! They were both very unpleasant characters—"