How to Work with a Bully and a Toxic Boss

http://www.StopComplainers.com First of all, it’s not the negative behavior that other co-workers should focus on. Instead they should focus on the reason behind each behavior. 1. Colleague is consistently late meeting deadlines. Reason behind it could be that they are perfectionists and won’t turn loose of a project until it’s perfect OR that they don’t think rules apply to them. These co-workers are typically resistant to change and not meeting deadlines is their way of keeping the status quo. What won’t work with this person: trying to appeal to them being more of a team player and trying to convince them to have a more positive attitude. How it affects you: It will affect you because their delays will also delay the team or you achieving your goals. How to stop it: Publicize deadlines and job duties to all co-workers on the team and use deadlines w/a cushion. Also, compliment the co-worker as they meet mini-milestones on the project and acknowledge that you appreciate their work. 2. Co-worker who tells management work is complete/on track to completion but you know it is not. Reason behind this negative behavior is the person doesn’t want to look bad so they don’t mind lying or being deceitful so they can stay in the spotlight and look good. They are basically Prima Donnas – they want to get attention, even if it’s negative attention. It affects you because this lie will bottleneck the team and all co-workers will then get blamed when project isn’t completed on time. How to stop it: Publicly calendarize the deliverables on the project and, to the extent possible, separate out job duties and publicize the job duties. 3. Co-workers who are openly job hunting/ openly talks badly about the company/ management or the direction of the company. This behavior isn’t common toxic behavior. A true toxic person would hide this and be more secretive. If you have someone openly job hunting they probably have a feeling of superiority and think they are bullet proof. Co-workers are embarrassed to be around this person. It also puts co-workers in a bad position b/c they feel the need to tell management about this person but they don’t want to be seen as a tattle tale. It affects you because this person can’t be trusted. How to stop it: Announce “I like my job. I like my boss.” Then leave the conversation and go back to work. If possible get off the team with the co-worker or not be partnered w/this person. 4. Co-worker who stirs up drama. What it looks like: gossiping, overreacting, whining. How to stop it: Say to the co-worker, “Look, I’ve got a lot of work to do,” and then get back to work. Try to hold the conversation with them in a public place or outside boss’s office and this can minimize the person from causing as much drama. Make everything transparent. 5. Coworkers who won't change course as needed or admit when they’re wrong. What it looks like: Complicators, know-it-alls, nitpickers, micromanagers, historians. They may say, “We’ve never done it that way.” The reason behind this behavior is the person is afraid co-workers will discover they don’t know everything. To stop it: Say, “This change is coming from someone above” b/c this person will follow hierarchy. Get over that this person will not admit they are wrong – it will never happen. Use the word “and” when you talk to them. Don’t use “but” or “whatever.” It creates confusion and bottleneck. 6. Co-workers who are cliquey and form departmental conflict. What it looks like: narcissists, sociopaths and whackadoodles. These types of co-workers are trying to control their environment thru misinformation and manipulative relationships. They pick people who will believe them, then get dirt on them and turn on them. They target individuals to pick on or make fun of (just like middle school bullies). How it affects you: they will never support you. How to stop it: You need your own champions. Document everything and don’t trust this person – especially if this person is suddenly nice to you b/c they will stab you in the back. They can be charming and disarming and will try to earn your trust by sharing confidences, which may be lies. About Linda Swindling: A recognized authority on negotiations, workplace issues, and persuasive communication, Linda Swindling is an author and former employment attorney. Linda has authored or co-authored 18 books, including the book Stop Complainers and Energy Drainers: How to Negotiate Work Drama To Get More Done (Wiley). Follow her on twitter @LindaSwindling https://twitter.com/LindaSwindling