An Open Letter To Scooby Doo RE Your Cowardice - From Lt Col Bilgewater

Originally published 7th of August 2015. Bilgewater is quite drunk in this one. Dear Scooby LaDoo, You sir are a blaggart and a coward. I for one am most percheived by your utter disregard for your masters and betters, and you recurrent abandonment of your desertion of honour. I did, it is true, find amusement in your escapades with the Batman and also his batman, young drumming boy Robin. But if you had pertained your wits you would have easily seen the recurring repeating pattern of deceit by those whom you find yourself in the employ, with... thereof. When aiding Sunny and Cheri, it surely became obvious, sir, that the innkeeper was the crook, but you were occupied with those confounded Scooby Snacks. Also, Sunny and Cheri's singing is unacceptable. ... Could I possibly get a ... where am I? Your younger cousin Scrappy LaDoo, whilst possibly psychopathic, maintains a spine sir, and keep better company than the young vagabond who quite possibly no one else can see that you, thereof, keep company, with. Sir, if you do not drink the hard milk I fear you shall become known as a dandy and a rotter. What you need, Monsieur LaDoo, is a few years of good hard campaigning. Therefore I expect great things from you, and I trust you not to disappoint. Yours truthfully and expecting, Lieutenant-Colonel Anonymous Bilgewater.